If I Could, Then I Would
by hermes41319
Summary: Mr Darcy is on his way to London to discover Wickham and Lydia and he can't help but think about a different Miss Bennet by the name of Elizabeth.
1. Chapter 1  On the road to London

**Disclaimer : I do not own Pride and Prejudice Miss Austen is still in possesion of it.**

**Summary:**Mr Darcy is on his way to London to discover Wickham and Lydia and he can't help but think about a different Miss Bennet by the name of Elizabeth.

Now I know that it may sound extremely selfish to say, but I don t really care about Lydia and I definitely don t care about Wickham and yet here I am, on my way to discover them in London and I am going to bring Lydia home or make him marry her as if she were a relation of mine. But in truth I don t care about them. Either of them.

I care what happens to them for the pure fact that Miss Elizabeth Bennet does and seeing as she does not care for me I have no reason to care or do this and yet I am. Because Miss Eliza may not care for me but I care for her, I care more than I care for anything else in the world, more than I care for myself even. All that I do is done for her. I would go to the end of the earth and back for her. I love her entirely with all my heart and even if she is never to find out that I will have done this for her I must do it anyway for my own piece of mind as it was my stupid fault that it happened in the first place. I could have sent him to Australia or Canada or sent for him to be killed but that wasn t in my nature so I allowed him to carry on and now look what has happened. I have ended up hurting the love of my life and through her myself. I had settled on fighting for her when she had left Hunsford and that is what I will continue to do until I win. I am not a quitter and I never was. Miss Elizabeth Bennet would one day be mine.


	2. Chapter 2  Back to Pemberley

**Disclaimer: As usual I own nothing **

**Any mistakes are mine and I am sorry about them if you tell me I will change them :) Enjoy. **

I arrived back at Pemberley a mere four days after I had left and I was anxious not to see or speak to anyone. As much as I loved my sister I really didn t want to see her and I definitely did not want to speak to Caroline Bingley. I could wait a lifetime happily before speaking to her again. It was late when I arrived back and very dark however I knew my sister and our guests would still be up. So I slipped in the back door of the kitchens said hello to Mrs Reynolds told her to tell everyone if they asked that I was exhausted from travelling and the business that had drawn me away and that I had to go to bed. I walked very quickly to my bedroom and locked myself in before finally falling into bed and willing sleep to take over my body. However apparently god would not allow me that relief, all I could think of was how Elizabeth must resent me. I had made her sister marry a despicable man admittedly it wasn t my choice I didn t have any other option when she refused to leave him but how could Elizabeth forgive me for something like that. I had doomed her sister to a life of debts and moving every three months. Finally after what felt like 4 hours sleep took over my body but even in sleep my mind could not escape Miss Elizabeth Bennet. My dreams were filled with her fine eyes and unbelievable beauty.

I awoke in the morning later than usual and the sun was streaming down on my face. I had to tell Bingley today. It was vital before we left for Netherfield that he knew, whether I was still invited after this I did not know and whether or not I would ever see Elizabeth again depended on this conversation because if my invitation was taken back I had no business being in Hertfordshire and I couldn t not see her again and yet I had to put my friend first for a change. I appeared at breakfast and Caroline made some joke about my fleeing and everyone including myself had expressed an amused expression all of which were fake, after finishing breakfast I invited Bingley to join me in my study for I needed his advice on some business. He did look shocked by the suggestion that I may have to appeal to him for help but I had decided it was the only way that Caroline could not pull herself into the loop.

I sat down at my desk and Bingley sat across from me waiting for me to ask for his opinion. I sighed this was going to be a difficult conversation and I knew I was going to rouse feelings in Bingley which I had never seen before and I really didn t know what to expect of him. "Bingley I have done some stupid things in my time." Bingley laughed. "You Darce, I doubt that." "Let me finish Charles you may not think that when I have finished." He just nodded for me to continue. "But nothing has been as stupid as something I did a while ago. I have to confess this to you as I have done you great wrong and I did not realise this until I spoke with Miss Elizabeth Bennet not that long ago. Bingley just looked confused but I pursued anyway. Caroline, Mrs Hurst and I have done you great wrong. We pulled you to London and convinced you of Miss Bennett s disregard for you as I believed at the time she was, however I have been reliably informed by the one who knows her best that she was very much in love with you as you were with her and she did in fact follow you to London. I am so sorry Charles and I beg you to forgive me for this large sin. I did you great wrong but I hope that Miss Bennet and yourself will be able to reconcile when you go back to Hertfordshire next week." Charles was speechless which was never a good thing, he was staring at the floor and then he looked up at me with a suspicious countenance. "Are you not coming with us?" "I did not think I would be invited after hearing this revelation." "Well Darce at least you admitted to it and told me of your wrong doing however even if I am cross at you I need someone to visit the Bennett s with me and I have chosen you for I believe there is a woman there who you also have a high regard for." He said with a glint in his eye. "If you are referring to Miss Elizabeth Bennet then you are very much correct however I highly doubt that she has any regard for me at all." Bingley smiled "Well we will have to go and find out will we not? For I do not know for definite that Jane still loves me as I do her and yet I am resolved to go and find out." And with that what I thought would be the breaking of our friendship turned out to be quite the proof that it did exist for a friendship is not there without trust and room to forgive.

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